Re-evaluating Our Idea of Love

Hi there,

Welcome to another edition of Simpler Sundays, a newsletter aimed at giving you a dose of relaxed reading at the end of the week. This is the 25th edition of Simpler Sundays. If you’d like any of your friends or family to subscribe to this newsletter, you can share this link. That said, let’s begin this week’s newsletter.

This week, we are talking about ‘Our Idea of Love’.

Why do we need to re-evaluate our idea of love?

Whether we accept it or not, our idea of love is based on what we usually see in popular media like movies, TV, and web shows. To make my point, I want you to think of SRK or ‘The King of Romance’ as we like to call him.

Personally, I love SRK but not his idea of love. I love the characters he has played. I love the movies he has been a part of. Yet, the idea of love that his characters portray is something that I don’t endorse.

Most of us associate SRK with a kind of love that is very passionate and intense. Watching him on screen, we feel like falling in mad love ourselves.

It’s even come to a point that our popular media has made us believe that if a relationship is not all-consuming then it’s not based on love. Our movies, TV series, and videos constantly project this idea that if you are not madly in love then it’s not true love.

Romantic movies have this common theme where our hero moves away from the heroine only to later realize that he cannot be happy with anyone else.

This looks good on the screen as it caters to our emotional sides. However, in real-life, this only breeds toxic and abusive relationships.

By watching crazy love on screen, we wish to have that kind of love in our real lives as well. We do crazy big gestures; we obsess over a person; we abandon all our personal dreams and goals to instead do things for the one we consider our true love.

However, unlike in movies, our actions in real-life have real consequences. There are so many people who stay in abusive and toxic relationships just because they believe that they love the other person. We are so blinded by the idea of love that we forget to see the other person for what they are.

Do you know that it has even been shown in research that an all-consuming love is coupled with a brain chemistry similar to that of people addicted to cocaine.

All of this calls for re-evaluating our idea of love. Instead of chasing overly passionate romantic encounters, we must understand the value of healthy relationships.

A healthy relationship doesn’t always look too fancy. However, a healthy relationship can give you a sense of calm and mental peace. A healthy relationship is one where both partners respect each other’s individuality and allow each other to express themselves. A healthy relationship is based on gestures of love rather than the expression of love.

What do you think? Do you think our movies have morphed our perception of love?

That’s all for this week. Next time, I’ll take up another question and try to share my perspective on it.

See you next time. Stay safe and take care.

With love,

Shikhil Vyas

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