A different perspective on gender equality

 “I am a grown up man capable of doing my chores,” he said beaming with pride.

The world around us is ever changing. People evolve, ideas transform, and beliefs alter. Today, a guy claiming Earth to revolve around the sun would not be called an eccentric. Today, a girl loving a girl would not be called a freak. Change is good. Change is necessary. It gives value to human life. It makes us realize how far we’ve come.
This same tide of change brought the idea of gender equality. It is a progressive thought that must be appreciated. It has changed the dynamics of male-female interactions, giving hope to women suffering in this male dominated society. The media is doing its part by pushing the envelope through its content. Movies like “Ki & Ka” tried to redefine the stereotypes in our society.


Any modern girl expects her partner to be equally involved in the housework, which was traditionally considered a feminine task. Considering the number of responsibilities they handle, it seems fair enough for a man to help her out. I have no qualms there.
I am always left robbed of words while talking about women’s greatness. Putting God’s beautiful creations in mere words is hard. They are mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, friends, partners and what not. Continually supporting us in all spheres of life. These amazing souls are happy with as little as some appreciation. Exactly the reason why I’m always in awe of them.

“Who does your chores ?” someone asked me.
“I am a grown up man capable of doing my chores,” I said beaming with pride.
The idea was clear. One should not be dependent on someone else for such mundane tasks. A man should be self-reliant, not a burden. He should be capable of taking care of himself. He shouldn’t expect his wife to do everything for him. She is his wife, not a servant. The institution of marriage is based on the idea of two individuals sharing their lives. It isn’t a business agreement to get a maid with benefits.
I felt the ideals of gender equality are well imbibed in me. But right at that very moment, it hit me. What happens to all those morals when it comes to our mothers. Why do we tend to forget that she is a human too? Where does that self-sufficient man hide as soon as he gets home? I have never heard any son objecting to all the work his mother does for him. He takes it for granted without ever being grateful for it. Her immense love has, in turn, became her enemy. But her greatness lies in it. I wonder why those preaching about gender equality never questioned this.
The age-old dynamics of this mother-son relationship makes it hard to change this mindset. The problem is that we don’t see the act of a mother raising her child as something to be grateful for. We just see it as her responsibility. And that is the root of the whole problem. We have grown up like this. So it remains the same even after we grow up.


That brings me to the next part. Since this dynamic is deep rooted, so the steps for its complete overhaul will be futile. The way ahead begins with gratitude. So start being grateful for the unconditional love and support our mothers show us. Actually, we do love her a lot. We cannot imagine our lives without her. But we, being typical Indians are least expressive when it comes to love. For us, expressing love is harder than smacking few goons on the street.
But we can start by taking small steps. Start saying thank you to your mother whenever she does something for you. Let her know that you appreciate it. A little word like “thank you” may seem insignificant but it has incredible power. Soon you’ll realize the immense happiness she gets just because of this so called “small word.”
Then start helping her out with some of the daily chores. She has been doing all this for years without complaining even once. So she definitely won’t need your help. But your small gesture will give her absolute bliss. She hasn’t seen this side of you, and that will make her very proud.

Have you ever spent money on her? Have you ever bought her anything? You spend an unbelievable amount of money on your girlfriends, just to appease them. Buying them all sorts of expensive gifts,
chocolates, dresses, jewelry and taking them to restaurants, movies and what not.  Can you remember spending even half of that money on your mom? And even then, it is your mother you turn to for support, during the moments of self-doubt, weakness, and loneliness.
See that is the paradox. The lady who spent her whole life caring for you gets no credit while some totally random girl who doesn’t even care for you gets showered with gifts. Is that how shallow we are?
So try to change that. Buy gifts for your mother, take her out for a movie, dance with her, sing to her, make her laugh, talk to her. It will give you immense happiness. It would be better than the regret you have for spending money on girls.
And let me tell you a secret, my friend. Your mother is not as spoilt as your girl. Your mom will not make a grumpy face if you do not get her a “Ferrero Rocher.” She will be happy with a “Munch” too. She won’t pester you for gifting her an “iPhone.” Your mother will be content on seeing your efforts only. That is the beauty of her heart.
She is the most special person for you. So just let her know that.
Happy Mother’s day to all. Make every day a mother’s day for her.


Thanks for reading. I am Shikhil Vyas, a professional content writer and writing coach. Subscribe to my weekly newsletter called Simpler Sundays by entering your email address below.

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